My life with a narcissist, and how to help you cope with one.

Congratulations, you are reading this, is it because you already know that you are living with one? Or are you preparing for the future in case you do meet one? If you fall under any of these demographics, let me say this, it will suck, and chances are, you already know it sucks, it takes lots of will power, and sometimes you are going to hate yourself with some of the decisions you make along the way when dealing with this sort of person. Thats alright, how were we supposed to know what they were like? Television does not display this kind of monster, because some of them are absolutely unimaginable. 

The definition of narcissist is, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissism  I don’t usually trust wiki, but after reading through this, this is one of the few articles in which I personally believe that they hit the nail right on the head. I am a normal person by accounts, however dealing with one narcissist made me have to go through some therapy, and other kind of help circles. These circles were not even centered around narcissism, they were built around Parental abuse. But I learned a lot, and I feel like I should share some of the facts, because there are not a lot of places were you can get help for this sort of thing. 

my father is one, and it caused a lot of pain, its the little things, sometimes monumental things they do, that can drive you off the wall.

 

A narcissist pretends to care about you, however in reality tImagehey don’t they’ll do anything, use anything, or anyone for their own self gain. I am pretty good at predicting sport events, call it luck, i don’t know. He knew i was good at picking these sports, and would ask me all these questions, so nicely, i would think he just wants to talk about sports, like normal guys do. I noticed a little pattern, that he’d ask 3-4 questions, then go out. This was over the course of a couple of months, then i put two and two together when he said he had won a couple hundred bucks one weekend. I wasn’t angry that he would go and pick what i said, I was angry that he would use me like that. After reading numerous articles from other people who has experienced narcissists I notice that pattern as well. They’ll use you, and dispose of you if you don’t work out.

Which coincidentally happened.

It turns out that he spent lots of money to keep his drug addiction going. One day, when he came home with weed hidden in his sock, my mom caught him, and took it out, he was so enraged with her, that he brought her into the kitchen, and started strangling her with his elbow on the counter.  I don’t know why he isn’t in jail after that incident, but he inst. The only e-mails I would get are ones about how he indirectly told me I was an accident saying ” if you’re going to get together with a girl, use a condom ” Or asking about sports events.  When I told him to stop talking to me, he mocked me, calling me a big man.

The day he came back home for one day inadrunk rage, it ended up being me, a scared kid, bringing down a knife, because i was scared he was going to beat up my mom. When he saw it, i was chased around the place. And it’s funny, because i felt so bad for so long for what I did, I really believed it was my fault for years, until i went to a summer camp, and was told that with all the events that happened, it wasn’t my fault, and he wins if  feel bad for what happened. 

A while later, i look back at all these selfish things he did, with the intention to hurt, and it still hurts sometimes, which is why I am telling you this. The narcissist starts it, they have a goal to make you feel as bad as possible about yourself, and they don’t want you to be any happier then they are. I want you to remember, that if you try to cut ties with the narcissist, it’ll be a hard thing to do.

They’ll make you feel everything is your fault, and that you’re over reacting, and dear reader, don’t believe that for a second. They drive you to the edge, and through all the stress, and hurt feelings that they bring out, you may do things that will make you would never do in any other situation. 

Cut ties with this person, don’t talk to this person, and don’t feel bad about what you’ll say to them. They narcissist doesn’t care about you as a person, they care about you as an object. Think  of it this way, If  you lose your wallet, do you feel bad for the wallet, do you care about its emotions, or how it feels at this instant? Or when you lose the wallet, are you upset, because it had some sort of value to you? To the narcissist, you’re the wallet.

I Hope this helps someone.

 

 

San Jose vs Toronto?

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I am an avid hockey fan, as many of you will probably figure out, check out the name. These are two of my favorite teams in the NHL for two totally different reasons. I am a kind of fan that always cheers for the underdog, hence, my fandom for the leafs was born, it also doesn’t hurt that i love about an hour away from Toronto.

Its currently 2-1 San Jose as i am typing, and Smithson just took a penalty, looks like the sharks will get another power play goal. Oops maybe not, there were two fighting majors. Anyways I have always liked the sharks, because their jerseys look sick! Also Joe Thornton is a bad ass, and they are kicking butt as of late. They will win a Stanley cup this year without a doubt.

Now lets compare the two teams a little bit, San Jose has very deep defense, no weak link, but you observe Toronto, and their defense is pretty deep too, just young, and Pheneuf could be playing better, but what the hell. I think in three years, if the leafs play their cards right, they will have the best defense in the league, without a doubt in my mind, too much young talent to go to waste. However as it stand currently, Give San Jose the edge, Because every single one of their Defense has proven themselves throughout their long, and Impressive careers, except Braun, he’s young, but good.

By the way it’s 2-2 now. On the offensive spectrum, San Jose wins without a doubt, four strong lines, it almost isn’t fair how they manage to stay under the cap. The highlights, are Thornton, Marleau, Couture, Havlat, the list quite literally keeps going, all the way through their line up, their an all star team! Toronto just simply pales in comparison, Granted, its good, in the upper half of the league, however with all their injuries, non stop injuries, it sucks to be a fan.

Goal tending, its a coin flip. Niemi, vs Reimer, and Bernier, if you haven’t noticed Niemi has a crazy winning record throughout his career, however, compared to most of the best goalies in nhl history, he has had incredable teams in front of him. Reimer has at least has success behind some of Toronto worst NHL teams, and Bernier, i’m not sure yet, he played well as a back up on a Stanley cup winning team. Goal tending the edge is San Jose’s point as well.

To summarize, San Jose, is in my opinion, analyzing both teams, the better of the two, and almost everyone will agree, however not by picking apart the teams, but by looking at the standing. With San Jose at the top of their division, however, that stats don’t lie, this team is legit.